The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

OK I know we have plenty of evil geniuses out there....I need some Ideas for your Best office Pranks,you've heard of,that you've done,or had done to you...

I had a (IMO) would have been a great Office prank,but doing a few trials...It failed miserably...My plan was to to cut the Non dairy Creamer with Cornstarch,that way their Coffee would turn very thick,or even better turn to like a gelatin type matter....Cornstarch would mix well,and be hard to tell it was in there till it was too late....

The Problem was It would TAKE SO much Cornstarch,and I don't think the coffee is hot enough to create the desired reaction.....

My brother had some pretty funny pranks.  My favorite of the ones he told me:

You know those old phone where the receiver is a circle with a screw off cap?  He opened it up his boss's and put a little piece of tuna-fish in it.

you can always just brew the coffee with vodka

Hey Tony,I work with a bunch of lawyers...that would get me fired .... ;)

Modified to add..I'm just trying to get off of Coffee duty,Just because I'm the first one in the office,shouldn't mean I have to make the Coffe...I don't drink it,and The people that are that Hard up for it,Buy a coffee on their way in,and Don't drink the Pot coffee till and hour or so after they're at work....

A Long time ago a really close friend worked just 2 doors down and he decided to start a prank war.  He would TP my car and so on.  One day I showed up at his job with balloons and a cake and was like "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!"  4 months before his actual birthday.  All of his co-workers were like "You didn't tell us it was your birthday" and I told them all he hates birthdays so he never mentions them and he would deny it being his birthday.  So the whole day he was denying it being his birthday and his co-workers just kept pushing the issue (annoncing it over loud speakers, helping me sing, etc.).  He finally had to show ID.  I won.

Sorry for the length here...I couldn't find the brevity key on my keyboard.

We pulled an office prank at the field station in Berlin that backfired...but before I go into it, any active duty military should definitely NEVER do anything like this. I was in the ASA, pre-INSCOMM, which was as close as the army ever got to being civilian. If you try this in a regular army unit, your ass will be locked up...fast.

We had a first lieutenant (LT Winsell) who served as the night chief for several of the subsystems (think small offices) at the field station. He was a nervous, twitchy type, and he annoyed the hell out of most of us. Some of us non-coms often wondered how he would handle it if there was a "real" emergency, so 5 of us (3 morse ops, myself and an RDF tech) decided to stage world war 3...or at least the opening chapter. We fabricated about a dozen morse transmission logs that showed encrypted communications from a number of soviet and east german units in border garrisons that appeared to be gearing up for field maneuvers. We had RDF (radio direction finding) corroborate the logs, adding in that individual units seemed to be changing positions between transmissions, and in a westerly direction<g>. The last few logs broke down individual soviet SPF unit chatter, with RDF indicating that some were being transmitted from "our" side of the border. The LT was freaking out, but didn't want to do anything crazy up the chain of command, lest it turn into a routine training op and make the LT look like an overreactive putz. After all, RDF was only "so" reliable.

The final clincher was the trunk line. All communications into Berlin in the 80's came in through an underground trunk line. Most scenarios regarding a major conflict in europe at the time started out with the soviets and east germans cutting the trunk line to stop all comms, sealing the city and turning Berlin into the world's largest POW camp. As the next to last fictitious log was being presented to the LT, one of the morse ops (SP4 William Vaughn) came screaming into the room, telling me and the LT that we had to come quick, because there was something wrong with the trunk line (or the o-scope that showed the trunk line signal). When we got in front of the scope, what we saw was the signal stutter twice, and then the screen went totally blank (at which time Vaughn earned his academy award for actually tearing up and saying "oh my god, we're fucked."

The LT had more sweat dripping off him than a sumo wrestler in a sauna. It was all we could do to not break out laughing hysterically right there. He started to say something, stopped, started again, stopped, twitched a couple of times, then in a strained voice, said "I...I can't be here" and walked quickly out of the subsystem. At which point, we DID start laughing. Hell, might've been the hardest I'd laughed in my life to that point.

About 5 minutes later, I told the CQ to track down Lt Winsell, to make sure he hadn't done anything stupid (like tell Col. Pfister that the russians were coming or something). The CQ found him in his office, sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He didn't answer when the CQ repeatedly called his name, he just raised one hand up in a "not now" gesture.

LT ended up having a slight nervous breakdown, spent almost a week in the hospital, and never again joined us at the field station. We all felt pretty badly about it at the time, and based on my little confessional here, some of us apparently still do.

Careful how far you take the joke, folks...

Ok, I'll 'fess up to one.  I participated but it was not my idea.  We were keeping some birds in the office and there were 2 office cats so we had to be very careful that the cats stayed out of the room that the birds were in.  One day, we trimmed the wings of the same type of bird, and someone got the idea to play a prank.  We scattered the feathers and some blood  (animal blood left over from doing blood tests) in the cat room to make it look like the cats had gotten the birds.  The office manager freaked out, but she could take a joke and laughed about it later.  The practice owners never found out about it.

One time we took various random items off a person's desk; stapler, pictures, personal items, etc. We took them all to the copier and made photo copies of each item and put them in the exact spot on the desk. That person was walking around all day looking for her stuff.

When I worked at Publix when I was a teenager, we used to get on the loudspeaker and make fake announcements.  A few examples:

"Attention Publix shoppers!!!  To the custiomer who lost their 24K Gold Rolex watch, the time is now 1:30 pm."

"Attention Publix shoppers!!!  To the customer who lost their wad of $100 bills wrapped in a rubber band, we have the rubber band at the customer service desk."

"Attention Publix shoppers!!!  To the customer who lost their gold American Express card.  You are now over your credit limit."

(http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n150/rmolledo/farva.jpg)
Tommy

Step 1: Collect everyone's house keys seceretly

Step 2: Fill bowl with water

Step 3: Place keys in bowl with water

Step 4: Place key soup in freezer

Step 5: Serve key ice bowl at the end of the day

Step 6: Laugh

We've done some silly crap, nothing really good though.

- go in on the weekend and rearrange everyone's pictures of their families and kids.

- cover everything on the desk in tin foil

- seal up a cubicle doorway with saran wrap and fill the cibe knee-high with styrofoam peanuts

- place chia-pet seeds inside someones computer keyboard

What in the world does SuperTroopers have to do with fake announcements over the PA in a grocery store???

Here's two for you. I'll admit, neither is my idea. The second one is a little messy, but I've always wanted to do it....

The first comes from The Office, and was something Jim said he once did to Dwight. He would unscrew Dwights phone receiver every day (like Tony said) and put a nickel inside. This would gradually increase the weight of the reciever and his body would adjust to the increased weight. Then he takes all the nickels out, and the Dwight ended up hitting himself in the head with the phone, because its so light, and he over compensated for the extra weight.

The second is something I read in Maxim or somewhere once. Take a can of shaving cream. Standard old Barbasol works best. Put it in the freezer overnight. Take it into the office in a paper bag, and hide it in the freezer. At the end of the day, take it out of the freezer, remove the little black stopper thing from the bottom of the can and stick it in someones desk drawer. As the can thaws out, the shaving cream will expand and fill the drawer.

Your sense of humour is the mirror of this guy's.  His name is Farva and what he finds funny seems to have the opposite effect on everyone else in the movie.  He's also at his most comical when he has no idea he is being funny...

I'll have to watch the movie then.  I'll bet he's the type who likes to clone ID's.  ;D

Farva is just a trimmed-down Tommy...I thought this the first time I watched the movie and still believe it today. Same high-end character, same sense of ethics, same emotional stability... ;)

I had my friend call another dude that works down the hall so the voice wouldn't be recognizable as the abortion clinic, claiming to have a girl he banged once at the clinic needing him to be there to help make a decision. So this was at like 9am. We all go out to break at 10:15 so i had let some of my other friends in on it and i told them to watch how freaked out he was. So when we get out there the guy, (he was only 21 or 22 at the time), he got all emotional and serious about the situation and we all kept straight face. Probably the worst part is that I didn't tell him that it was prank until right before we got out of work at 4, so we made him eat it all day without blowing it.


Cruel, yes. Funny as hell, yes.

These aren't really office pranks, but when I was in high school, I would prank call people that I knew with a fake old-man voice.  I was very convincing.  I had my house phone record the calls through the answering machine.

My best one was where I called this girl from the bus stop and had this whole story about how my roof had leaked down the wall and into the socket and I was trying to unscrew the plate and had shocked the crap out of myself.  So, I was calling, asking if it was the electric company.  Every time she'd try to cut me off or say that it was the wrong number, I'd interrupt and say "great" or "ok".

I finished the phone call and the next day at the bus stop, just started playing the tape. all nonchalant.  She just turned her head and said "THAT WAS YOU!?!??!"

Oh shit well there isnt' enough room on here to list all the shit I pulled on coworkers.

1. Rubber Snake in the drawer.  It's timeless and virtually impossible to get anyone pregnant.
2. Throw something at them (not a stapler, cause trust me that's asking for trouble) large paper balls work well because an office is always full of semi used paper that no one wants anymore.  Just make sure you wad it up real well so it flies better.
3. If you have a job that involves a tool or something, hide it, or knock it over.  In an office you can't do much with this one unless someone has a huge ass coffee mug full of pens.  But at the movie theater we had brooms and those pull butler things those you can hide throw at someone or wait until they walk over and knock them down.
4. If you work in a vending area and serve popcorn, this is for you.  It's called the Golden Nugget.  Take a popped kernel, roll it in butter and butter salt until you get this big lumpy orange thing then make the new guy eat it.  He's gonna gag so make sure you have some water or a coke nearby.
5. Tell a coworker someone is doing something inappropriate in the bathroom and then take them in there to go handle the situation.  Then spend about 15 minutes looking for something that isn't there.  The rest is using your creativity.
6. Use props.  My personal favorite ones are to jam quarters into my eye and walk up behind someone and just start talking to them.  Then I'll pretend I have a cane and yell at them "I'm Mr. Peanut. GET IT?"
7.  Call someone's desk and do a celebrity impersonation.  I kept a kid going one night for an hour and a half thinking I was arnold schwartzenegger. 
8.  If you have a payphone or an unmanned phone at another desk, call it and watch the new guy pick it up.  Then hang up when he does.  If you really want it to be funny, get a coworker in on it and actually have a conversation with them on the other end.  The new guy will be baffled.