The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

I helped build this site thread by thread, post by post, and it's time for change.  Dave Gray just doesn't get it.  After two years of locked threads, commie mods, and no ROD members, we just can't afford more of the same.   

I'm Tommy, candidate for site administrator and I approve this message. 

Sure Dave created the site, and we all appreciate it but Al Gore invented the internet. Is he president? Hmmmmm?

 ;D

The rules do state that you can have more than one nominee for the 2008 Lamest Thread of the Year awards...so I suppose I can see a reason this thread exists.

Can it be nominated in more than one category?  I'd like to see it recognized for the "best attempt at draining every ounce of humor out of someone else's idea through pointless repetition" award.

I'm partially to blame for this. I PMed Brian, and he said that he wasn't interested in doing a mock election, and suggested that I get Tommy to run against Dave. I then sent a PM to Tommy suggesting that he do it.

Tommy's already received the lifetime achievement award in that area, so he shouldn't be allowed to win in that category any more...it just really isn't fair to the other unoriginal humorless schleps.

If I were to start a thread with this in the title, would that be taking the irony to a totally new level....or worse what if Tommy himself were to start that thread, I'd get confused at the paradoxic nature of the irony and attempted humour and probably self destruct while trying to figure it out.

Frimp, don't feel too bad, you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink, unfortunately for you the horse was taken to an exceedingly large pool of water and happened to have a throat like Ghandis flip flop.  He just can't lap up enough of that refeshing post whoredom!

L O FREAKING L !!!

I'm sore as hell from the gym and laughing doesn't exactly feel good right now.  But thank you Stroke.  Holy shit. . .  :D   :D   :D ( OW )

I didn't want to encourage Tommy by introducing the "Python factor", where the heavy handed repetition of an inane joke is the joke.   

1st time - kind of funny
2nd through 5th time - not funny
6th through 20th time - hugely f-ing annoying
21st time - funny again

I have to admit, if Tommy created 20 variations of the Maine's Cock and Mrs. Tommy's Pussy thread, I'd probably laugh at the 20th, then I'd have him banned.

Not sure where to say this, but damn does this board run amok on a bye week. Funny as hell, but there are more weird posts and threads around the time of the bye week than the rest of the year combined. Now all we need is Sponge making a surprise return (oh, wait, he did that a few weeks ago, right?)

I painted my house neon green, and decorated the schrubs with spaghetti, and hung meatballs on the branches like Christmas ornaments.

Until one of the Commie Mods locks it........VOTE FOR TOMMY!!  8)

I want Tommy to be Sponge Bob so bad it hurts.

Fuck Tommy (and his other cloned names) I am voting for Denver!

Vote for Denver!! Even a prison bitch can be a better adminstrator then Tommy!!!

I'm Pats2006 (not the clone), and I approve this message.

 

^So does that make you the prison bitch's bitch?

Sorry your a noob you would not get it! Before you were a member!

As administrator of this site, we have to show fans of other teams what this site is all about!!!!  I promise that the obnoxious fans of other teams will be embarassed and driven away through cloned names!!!!

That is one fine campaign promise.  :D

Well, you just lost my vote, and the the entire "obnoxious fans of other teams" voting bloc, and we are a sizable percent of the members.     

So what you're saying is that Tom bringing up Joe "shitting his pants" for three straight years lost it's luster?

Wait isn't this the same guy who punished his cat for eatting his chicken by eatting his cat food?

The key word here is "obnoxious".  I would exclude you from that group.

I think I'd be an excellent mod

VOTE DOLPHINS4LIFE FOR MOD!!!

Also, you can vote me for ROD too

I hereby announce Dolphins4life as my running mate.  If elected, Rick, doctor D, Phishfan, CF, DZA, Bingebag and Defense will be given top cabinet positions!!!!!

Dude, I thought we were friends.

oh no I got pwned.  ::)

Stl and Tenshot will be my Chiefs of Staff

You guys are so cute, still playing make-believe.

If anyone starts up a game of cowboys and indians, I'd like to be an indian.

All marijuana smoking 49ers fans will be rounded up and taken to secret bases where they will be tortured in the name of counter-ineptness

Are you trying to win voters or convince more people NOT to vote for you?

Neither.  I'm just fucking around.  That's the whole point of this thread.

Bumfuck Central Florida (AP)

A very small but very annoying upshoot political party saw it's dreams shattered today, as make-believe party candidate Tommy was assassinated this afternoon as he left his day job at Burger King. Witnesses say that Tommy was just about to get in his 1975 Pacer in the parking lot when a single gunshot was fired, striking the victim in the back of his skull. One man who was munching onion rings and staring out the window told us "It was like that comedian dude with the sledge-o-matic and the watermelon, but it was a bullet instead of a sledgehammer, and it was that fat dude's head instead of a watermelon. Other than that, it looked pretty much the same."

After an exhaustive 7 minute manhunt, federal agents found the assassin, Sunstroke Horatio Stevens, at a bar across the street, singing loudly and buying drinks for the house. When asked why he had commited such a welcome heinous crime, Sunstroke told reporters "He was playing motherfukking make-believe politics, so I took my mutherfucking make believe sniper rifle and vetoed his motherfucking make believe head across the hood of that motherfucking make believe piece of shit Pacer. Now he can be a motherfucking make believe martyr."

Sunstroke was later released from police custody when it was discovered that he hadn't actually commited a crime. Sheriff Bo Caraton summed it up..."In Florida it is perfectly legal to exterminate rodents and cockroaches, and we have discovered hard evidence which proved conclusively that the deceased had a little bit of both in him."

^WOW that's harsh...and very creative

Don't worry about Stroke.  He only gets this way when his hemmrhoids flare up. 

I've called you a lot of names, but I don't recall ever calling you a "hemorrhoid" when you flare up...though I do see a few parallels. ;)

What's the matter Stroke?  You forgot your Preparation H?

If I thought squeezing a tube of it over your head would chase you off to another board, I'd be willing to give it a shot... ;-)