The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

I'd like to see this. Instead of wondering which athletes are using performance enhancers, why not standardize the drugs, make them as safe as possible, and put all the athletes on the same stuff?

Let's take our best athletes, pump them full of the best drugs science can develop and put them on a field opposite of each other.

I actually suggested something similar a while back, but took it several steps further by making the hitters use aluminum bats instead of wood, and giving the infielders small clubs or blackjacks that they can swing at baserunners to try to take them down as they run.

The Majorly Juiced Baseball League...I'd pay to watch that shit in a heartbeat.

Why not just have a gladiator arena at that point and forget about the sport part of it?

I'd like to see a juiced up NFL league... or a baseball league. Let's see what the human body and science are capable of.

We'd have a baseline comparison too.

You would have to be pretty ignorant to think that MLB and the NFL aren't already juiced up leagues.

Studies have suggested that if MLB used aluminum bats, the velocities of home run shots could actually kill a spectator.

Or a line drive could kill a player.  Helmets on eveyone would look pretty funny.

Problem is we live in a copycat society, These Freaks of nature would be looked upon as Heroes and role models causing other youngsters to want to be like them. Then before you know it you will have legions of young Kids.......maybe one of your own , sticking themselves and growing up to be a huge bloated athletes only to die of a exploding heart vessel in their mid 40's. Or watch them kill a loved one in a Roid Rage incident. Its not just the games.........the general health risks are why its a illegal substance.

What?  That's not happening now?

I'm leading with that in my marketing efforts...


Imagine the ratings...oh, baby!!


Just bring 'em to the stadium first...loved one killings make great seventh inning stretch filler.

;D

Somehow I knew after posting that, you would reply in some manner similiar to this.

The NFL has pretty stingent testing, year round. I would guess players actively using roids is less than 10%.

As for the general public imitating players and taking roids, it would be the same kids that would imitate the 'lifestyle' in rap videos.

A Performance Enhancement League would be worth the risks.

Thread is re-split, go to!

Well sure, 'cause if you're going over the top with something, you don't go half-assed about it. You cram as much insanity into the nine innings as you can, and hope you create a spectacle so outrageous that the crowd needs to come back for more.

700 foot HRs, gratuitous violence on the basepaths and free slingshots with plastic pellets for the first 1,000 kids under the age of 12 (Did I mention the umpires will have bullseyes painted on their backs?).

How about giving them rocks instead of plastic pellets. You said yourself you don't want to go half-assed.

I'm not sure how an aluminum bat is any more risk than those darn piece of shit maple bats that shred like little antipersonnel grenades when a player tries to drop down a bunk on a 76 mph change up...

We'll see someone impaled on the field soon, mark my words!

The all PEL team.  Interesting.  We have quite the pitching staff, don't we?  You can lob Pedro on that list, there isn't a person on this planet that can not talk me out of that tree.  Anyone else remember when dude showed up for camp in 2002 and went from 145 pounds soaking wet with a turtle in his pocket to looking like John Cena with a baseball hat on?  "I lifted a little this offseason" he said.

Huh.

And, soon after that, he couldn't stay off the DL.

the main reason for the plastic pellets is because we don't want to run out of umpires 10 games into the season. ;)

You guys are so fucked up............. ;D

But in a good way............ :D

The velocities of some of the hits in college using aluminum bats are approaching lethal levels and were you to put these bats into the hands of stronger hitters who generate more bat speed, well that is the fear.

If you think only 10% of the NFL is on roids, you might be on drugs.  I think maybe only 10% of the NBA is shooting up but that might be a low number.  The 4 big leagues in America are pretty much PELs. 


I believe most of these have been marketing ploys at minor league games.

I pitched in college, I know.  I have had a couple come backers my way once or twice. 

I was being smart ass.

This is exactly why we should roid up every big league. Since we can't stop some people from taking it, let's have every take it!

Heck, while we're at it, we should totally juice up the coaches too. I'd like to see Gruden's face after a few months of daily injections.

Are you sure he isn't juiced up already??

Oh yeah...give me a juiced up offensive coordinator, and when a WR comes over and starts whining about not getting the ball enough, the OC can go all roid rage and start smacking the player around.

IT'S TIME FOR MONDAY NIGHT REHABILITATION!!!

I'd like to see whether a group of juiced professional female athletes could beat a non-juiced group of professional male athletes.

Not only is the answer "no, they couldn't," but since the only possible reason for having women in the contest would be to cash the "sex sells" check, you defeat that by juicing them up and bulging all the sexiness right out of them.

Maybe instead of juiced women athletes, the Performance Enhancement League could reward hitters who smack a HR with a lap dance at home plate from a celebrity stripper or desperate supermodel.

Finally, job security for Amber Smith.