The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

"The things you own start owning you."
     - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

That's my favorite movie.  And though I never really thought much about it, I find this to be truer and truer, as I age.  It got to a point where I was just amassing more and more stuff and now I find myself going in the other direction.  I find that by having less, I actually have more.

I've been reading more and more about minimalism lately and have made a big push towards it in many aspects of my life.  I have a long, long, long way to go, but already, the changes I've made are incredibly freeing.

I have been cutting down on personal items for a while now.  At first, I was just updating my wardrobe to better fitting clothes and more recent styles.  But to do that, I had to get rid of the old.  ...and surprisingly, it was difficult.  I was finding myself forming an attachment to clothes that I didn't even like, didn't fit, etc.  I had trouble admitting that there is no way I'm going to wear those shoes again, though I did like them at one point.  Maybe I was convinced that they'd come back in style.  But what's the point of owning 30 dress shirts, when you keep cycling through the same 10?  By taking the plunge and getting comfortable with having fewer things, I've found myself more able to enjoy the things I do have.

At work, I had a box of kleenex on my desk.  I might need to blow my nose, right?  And I had a stapler, because once in a while I might need to staple something.  And if I get a headache, I have a bottle of aspirin, and I have all these notebooks, and a pen in every color.  And because there was all this "needed" crap, it was harder to see the unneeded crap, like papers and files.  And it got overwhelming.  So I ditched it all.  And I'm so much more able to enjoy my space.  And if I need to blow my nose, I'll walk across the room to get a tissue.  Or a stapler.  Or medicine.

At home, I did some work in my office.  I still have way, way too much.  I have to keep cutting down, but I've made a large dent.

I have so many video games that I don't know what to play.  I have DVDs of things I will never watch again.  I have collected Simpsons DVDs since they came out, so I feel the urge to continue buying the new seasons, despite knowing that there's no way that I'm going to actually re-watch those shows.  Those things are supposed to bring me joy, but instead, it's stress.  I'm stressed at the idea of getting rid of these things that I've paid for, I'm stressed about the idea of having to keep them, and I'm stressed at the idea that I'm compelled to keep collecting.  So, I'm on my way to having less.

I haven't even looked at the kitchen yet, but there are so many glasses and cups that we never use the ones in the back.  It makes for more dirty dishes, and it makes them harder to put away.

I have a shed with so many things in there that I that I wouldn't be able to find tools if I needed them and I probably wouldn't know how to use them anyway. 

Even digitally, I find myself struggling to delete free apps on my phone that I rarely use.  Why?  I hold on to digital files on my computer of old pictures or movies.  Why?

So, I'm making a real push to simplify my possessions.  I think that I don't enjoy the things I have because it all gets lost in the shuffle.  A cluttered space is something that I see needs to be cleaned, rather than enjoyed.

I have a long way to go.  Anyone feel this way?

I hear ya.  I'm forever saving articles or journals or books that I think I may need to reference in the future for work, which I never do go back to after 3 months.  I'm slowly clearing through the clutter.  At home I have closets full of things that I hate to throw away because they are worth money, yet I don't have the time to try and sell them; so I've slowly decided to donate some of the items to charity.  One of my goals this summer is to put together a bunch of items to go to a local place that has weekly auctions, and get whatever I can.

My current place looks cluttered because I have grown completely out of it. I only have 2 tiny closets in the entire place. Most of my clutter is due to just flat out laziness.

I am planning on a move in the next few months so I'm slowly getting rid of everything. No. Really ALL OF IT. Clothes, dishes, furniture. It's all going except for the bare minimum. The less stuff I have the cheaper/faster/easier the move.

I have absolutely no problem doing this. It's just stuff.

Not trying to be a dick here, but honestly I think this might be a different issue than what you are talking about. This to me sounds more like much ado about nothing. I have a stapler on my desk, some napkins and aspirin in a drawer, assorted pens/markers etc in a cup on my desk. On top of that I have some "awards" from work, some Miami Dolphins memorabilia, a couple of cups for drinks, a clock, a candy dispenser and some other stuff and I have never thought I needed to get rid of this stuff although I probably don't really have to have most of it. Was it really getting in the way of your other stuff? If so, maybe you have too much other stuff as this doesn't really seem like it would take up a lot of room. This to me sounds more like someone overthinking things a bit or being a bit anal about their workspace rather than being about acquiring things just for the sake of acquiring them or not being able to get rid of thing you no longer use. You do use the stapler from time to time right? It's not like you have 3 of them is it?

That's just my opinion, I could be wrong and I don't mean to offend, I do think over acquiring things could be a problem, just not in this one particular case above with your desk. Some of the other stuff you mentioned did seem more like acquiring stuff that you really don't need or not being able to get rid of stuff that you no longer use.

I've felt that way forever. It's a tough discipline to put into practice, but well worth it.

 15 Then he said to them, Look well and keep yourselves clear of all covetousness. A man’s life does not consist in having more possessions than he needs.

[...]

22 Then he said to his disciples, I say to you, then, do not fret over your life, how to support it with food, over your body, how to keep it clothed. 23 Life is a greater gift than food, the body than clothing; 24 see how the ravens never sow or reap, have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them; have you not an excellence far beyond theirs? 25 Can any of you, for all his fretting, add a cubit’s growth to his height? 26 And if you are powerless to do so small a thing, why do you fret about your other needs? 27 See how the lilies grow; they do not toil, or spin, and yet I tell you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 If God, then, so clothes the grasses which live to-day in the fields and will feed the oven to-morrow, will he not be much more ready to clothe you, men of little faith? 29 You should not be asking, then, what you are to eat or drink, and living in suspense of mind; 30 it is for the heathen world to busy itself over such things; your Father knows well that you need them.

Luke 12: 15, 22 - 30

Lots of people are minimalists.  They can fit all of their possessions in a grocery cart.  They're called homeless.

Dave, my only comment is that if you continue down this path you won't be happy until you have nothing.  Do you just throw these things in the trash?

While I agree that it can be liberating to get rid of some old items you no longer need, it seems like you might be taking it too far.  Its killing you to store a few MB's of digital photos from 5 years ago?  They take up literally no space, and their sole purpose of existence is for you to keep them forever as memories.  So, where do you draw the line?  In reality the only things you NEED are food, water, shelter, and air.  You going to sit on the floor of your empty house with a bottle of Zephyrhills next to you and just live your life like that?

Where do you stop?  I can see this whole movement getting carried away...

That said, I need to purge my life as well.  I have a closet full of shirts, about 30% of them don't fit me (I couldn't care less about style).  When I get to a certain point, I consider it laundry day and "i have nothing to wear" because the 12 shirts I wear regularly are dirty, and the other 40 in there are just not an option.  I should get rid of the other 40.  And this similarly applies to MANY aspects of my life...

I applaud this effort. I would venture a guess that most of us on this board all have extra things around that are not use use but we have them because we feel compelled to keep them for some reason.

^^ Sentimentality.

The most useless of all human emotions.

I don't want to throw anyone off.  I still have a ton of shit and I'm not getting rid of anything that I use.  And it's in phases.  I'm not trying to live with nothing.  I'm just trying to enjoy the things I have.  If I have less, there's less to keep clean and organize.

After I wrote this last night, I went into my closet and filled up a garbage bag with clothes and shoes that I no longer wear.  Doing so allowed me more space on the rack and I actually discovered a few shirts that I'd forgotten about.  It allowed me to organize.  Today, I'm wearing a nice shirt that I'd not noticed in some time and I look fresh to death. 

Most of the stuff I will donate to Goodwill.  I hate waste.  But some things I throw out.  I threw out a belt and some old stretched out socks.  But the rest will go to a charity. 


My desk is nice.  Aside from things that I need, I have a rubber band ball, a chalice for tea and a coffee cup, and a digital photo frame.  Other than that, it's just the necessities.  I got rid of a lot of pens and stuff, too.  It's just simpler, but I still have things -- it's not bare.

Only a Sith deals in absolutes. :)

JMO Live like a pauper while in college to get a great job so you can buy more nicer stuff,to just throw it all away,because you have too much stuff.
So is this like trying to relive the glory years of college.No thanks...Sorry I'll continue to accumulate stuff...I like my stuff...

I suffer from sentimentality,and pack rat syndrome,and try to keep my stuff for as long as possible...

I'm striving to become a minimalist hoarder...

I got rid of some glasses and cups.  They were nice, but we didn't use them.  The coffee cups were too small, so we always chose over-sized mugs.  The other glasses fit our old house and we've moved on.

Word.

I also stockpile items, and I can tell you that one of the biggest obstacles towards a "get rid of everything" purge is the number of times that I've needed some obscure item, knew that I kept one for a situation like this, and dug it out of a bottom of a tote in my garage.  It's like winning the I Told You So championship.  And it's happened often enough that now I firmly believe that if I think I will need something later, I'm Probably Right and I should keep it.

Update:

I finished working in my closet last night and it looks great.  I had already gotten rid of most of the stuff I needed to purge, but in organizing, I found a few more things to donate.  I moved all of my specific sports stuff (like jerseys) to a plastic box that I sealed.  I don't wear jerseys anymore, unless I'm specifically going to a game, so there's no reason for them to be displayed on a rack.

I bought some nice, wooden hangers to help separate my shirts, as well as to take care of them.  I have a lot of wire ones from dry cleaning.


Next up, I'd like to work more in my home office (which means having my wife take a lot of her stuff back to work since school started and (my white whale), the outside shed/laundry closet.  That will be a big task.