The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

 Armando Salguero: Coach, did you order the Code Aqua?!
 
   Harvey Greene: You don't have to answer that question!

    Philbin: I'll answer the question. You want answers?

    Salguero: I think I'm entitled!

    Philbin: You want answers?!

    Salguero: I want the truth!

    Philbin: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has formations, and those formations have to be guarded by men with pads. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Omar Kelly? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Martin and you curse Incognito. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that Martin’s being hazed, while tragic, probably saved some sacks. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, gains yards! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at tailgate parties, you want me on that sideline. You need me on that sideline. We use words like "blitz", "screen", "A gap". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending an end zone. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very entertainment that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up some pads, and stand in at left tackle. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

    Salguero: Did you order the Code Aqua?

   Philbin: I did the job that—-

    Salguero : Did you order the Code Aqua?!!

    Philbin: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!!

I wrote it, do you think it is Onion worthy? 

Salguero: If it may please the court, I suggest all Dolphins fans be dismissed so that we can move to an immediate Jersey 13td Session.  The witness has rights.

(http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/195h8r6lczenypng/ku-medium.png)

I liked it, but what do I know.  ;D