The Dolphins Make Me Cry.com - Forums

Here are some improbable things I have done, that doesn't happen every day:

1. I have taken an "open door" ride in a US Army C-130 Cargo Plane
2. I have taken an "open door" ride in a US Army Bell Helicopter
3. I have rapelled off of a 100-foot tower (that is fucking fun)
4. I have driven through a Tropical Storm on the highway (Coming back from South Carolina in 2004, I tried to avoid TS Jeanne...but it snuck up on me, and it was heavy sideways rain for hours.  I don't even know how I found an open Comfort Inn in Jacksonville that actually had a room available, at that crazy hour, but I did)

Fallen down a 100 ft waterfall

Gone on a Southern US tour with a British rock band as their tour manager

Performed in front of 5000 people

Kicked Kelly Slater's ass

Been on a flight from Orlando to New Orleans with the LSU women's volleyball team. They held up the flight, so they bought drinks for everyone. Very fun flight.

Gotten laid in a hospital

Been on MTV News

I drove during Hurricane Erin in 1995

I've seen a ghost.

I've seen a UFO.

I've seen " the Spooklight" near Seneca Mo.

I've rode in a boat that was doing 80+ Mph on top of the water.

I've seen a Tornado Live and in person.(I might see another one in a few minutes)

I've drove  heavy farm machinery

I've been drunk on a diving board,while in the middle of competition

I've had sex in public

I've been in an earthquake

I've eaten cat food.

I've had my house collapse around me during a hurricane.

I've driven to over 100 mph in my own car.

I've made good defensive plays in high school against guys who are now NFL stars.

I've drove  heavy farm machinery

I've been drunk while in college classes

I've had sex in public

I've been to the Caribbean Islands

I have another one:

I've been inside a Limosuine with Pele.

I've driven a 30 million dollar nuclear submarine

I've heard a tolilet flush aborad a Russian submarine

I've broken thru the ice on the North Pole

I've slept in a torpedo tube

I've been on board a Japanese submarine

I've partied with Stone Temple Pilots

I've seen a tornado

I've been pulled over for speeding after being "clocked" by a plane

I've bungee jumped out of a hot air baloon

I got married in the Caribbean Islands

I could go on and on....

I'd like to hear about this story :-)

I'd like to hear about these two...

I grew up in Merritt Island FL, and I went to Merritt Island High school. He is a year older than me, and he went to Cocoa Beach High. All my friends would hit the beach on weekends. We had our spot on the beach near the Cocoa Beach Pier. Slater had won a tournament the week before, and this week he was celebrating. He decided that he wanted to "celebrate" with my buddie's girlfriend, and came over and started hitting on her. My buddy was a little guy, but he stood up to Slater, but Slater knocked him over. I jumped at him, and clocked him a good one across the jaw. He stumbled a bit, and considered hitting me back, but instead turned around, and walked off yelling about how we were all dead meat.

Some more...

I've partied with Deep Purple

I THINK I've a seen a ghost and UFO

I've met Jim Kiick

I've opened for LA Guns, Firehouse, Quiet Riot and Warrant

I've passed a field sobriety test while drunk

Let's hear about THIS!

I had a feeling that was coming.  ;D

I lived in Clarksville, Tennessee at the time. It was about 11:30 on a Friday night, and I had about 10 beers in me, and stupidly, I drove home. I was going through the downtown area, and I was doing 39 in a 30. I got pulled over, and the cop told me how fast I was going. He said that he smelled alcohol, and asked if I'd been drinking. I said "I've had 4." He then asked me to get out, and walk a straight line, touch my nose, and say the alphabet from F to W. I passed all 3 of tests somehow. He asked me again how many I'd had, and I said "I've had four. I am on my way home from work, and I do this every night. Is 4 enough to get me drunk?" He said that it probably would. He then told me that I wasnt swerving or anything like that. I was just going 9 MPH over the speed limit. He said that he was sure that if he took me downtown and tested my breath that I wouldnt like the outcome, but since I was honest with him, he was going to write me a speeding ticket, get in his car and go away. He also said that he'd better not see me out again that night.

I got VERY lucky that I got a cool cop, and I haven't done it since.

On the UFO...
I think it was 1998,my buddy and I were putting in the lake,getting ready to go fishing.It was about 4:30 am,we kept seeing this strange glow through the trees across the lake.We just got in the boat,and started to head down the lake,and we saw this strange object hovering over the water.It was way down the lake,and had red and green lights.Then it moved diagonally towards the bank and up...then went straight up and disappeared.It hovered over the lake for about 60 seconds,and the diagonal move took another 15 seconds.

The Ghost...
They were all at the hospital that my Mom works at,It opened in 1907.I think I just graduated high school,and my mom was working in  nursing admistration 3 pm to 11pm. I was visiting her at work,and like after 7p.m. she locked the door.At that time all the hosptals big-wig ceos had thier offices there,So she did mostly stuff for them.Where she worked was like a waiting area,is the best way to explain it.I was sitting in the a chair next to the door,now the doors were a wooden door,with like a 4 inch wide window,that ran about the upper two-thirds of the door.(See examples,excuse the cruelty of my homemade doors)

My mom, said somebody wants in,see who it is.I said there isn't anyone there,I didn't hear anyone knock.She said there was just someone standing there,I saw them at the door.So a few inutes later,my mom,went to the bathroom.I was sitting there,and I thought I saw somebody at the door I opened the door,there wasn't anyone there.I sat back down,then I heard a knock,But there wasn't anyone there,as soon as I sat back down,I looked up and there was a nurse standing at the door.But I thought it was odd,she wasn't looking at me,she was looking straight ahead,like she didn't even see me sitting there,I jumped up,opened the door,and no one was there.My mom came back,and I told her about it..she told me she has had a lot of wierd things happen.

Then second time,
I was picking my mom up,she asked me to come a half an hour early.She insisted but wouldn't tell me why.I got there and she said she had to un plug the copy machine because it would just start copying nothing.The lights in the offices were turning off and on,that when she went to dinner,she turned all the lights off.When she came back from dinner, Every light in the area was on.The last thing she kept hearing ZIP,Zip,Zip,Zip,like someone was walking up and down the hall,next to her desk,wearing Cordaroy pants.We were just starting to leave,we turned the lights off,all except the hall light.My mom said did you hear that? I said what...then I heard it...Zip,Zip,zip,zip...Right as we turned to look down the hall,we both saw what looked like a nurse with an older uniform walking away from us,then turning right,into the the door and disappear.

Both times they were the most unexpected times,they didn't scare me till after they were over.Since then My mom has had lots of ghost experiences there.

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Holy shit that's freaky...

I have successfully impersonated a whitewater raft guide (during a river trip)
I have driven over 100 MPH
I have drank alcohol while sitting in a college class
I have had sex in public

Sorry Phish, I've done all three of those mutiple times (except sex in public) and don't consider any of them that "Improbable".

I was on MTV Road Rules (I lifeguarded a swimming competation between the contestants and playboy bunnies at my college pool were I worked)
I flew a mutli-million dollar flight simulator and have been in cockpits for landings/take-offs of large passenger jets (helps when your dad was a pilot and you have access to such things)
I have been south of the equator and have traveled to every continent except Australia, South America, and Antartica by the time I was 14.

Those are the ones I can think of right now....

* I was approached by a Soviet spy once, who wanted me to sell him secrets

* I tallied a bizarre basketball quadruple-double in a city league playoff game (18 pts, 13 rebs, 11 steals, 10 blocks)

* I helped develop the KY-57 crypto gear used on the Apache helicopters.

* Using a turret-mounted .50 cal, I once cut an abandoned house in half.

* I've driven a vehicle 162 mph

* I once wrecked a bicycle at 43 mph
     * (I once got a speeding ticket on a bicycle for passing a cop at 48 mph in a 35 zone)

* I once followed a pack of wolves (as part of a Wolfhaven study) in the sawtooth mountain range in Idaho for 3 days without sleeping.

* I once headbutted someone so hard it fractured their skull.

Can't think of too many improbable things I've done...let's see...

I've lived in six countries and had many, many strange things happen as a result of it.

I've driven pretty fast (147 MPH)

I've saved four lives in one weekend at the the same beach (why would people who can't swim well decide to go out and swim a 100 meters off-shore??)

I've told a mugger to go f&*k himself rather than give gim my $50 watch and my empty wallet.  (Same weekend as above)

I've raised motherless puppies from birth until they were old enough to give away.  (Bottle fed them and everything)

Can't think of anything else...mental block...

Me neither really, but I was not the first to put some sort of version of them so I included them as well.

How about this one, I once watched a thunder storm roll around the mountain top I was on.
I once fed my dog a whole deer.

     Okay, let's see.....

- I have driven an 88,000 ton aircraft carrier

- I've driven over a 100 mph

- I drank alcohol while sitting in a 11th grade English class

  That's it for now, my memory is a bit rusty.

I made out with Liv Tyler.

(she's from Portland)

^^^ That would definitely be more fun than most of my improbables.

...although I have to admit that cutting the building in half with the .50 cal did give me a semi-chubby.  :-[

Yeah, that sounds cool, but let's hear about the Soviet spy thing.  That sounds like a good story.

My life sucks.  I haven't done anything cool.

Well, except that one time I rolled my car in the middle of the street.  jtex was there.  I don't know if that qualifies...

- I've had a cop pull a gun on me.

- I wet the bed at my girlfriend's parents.

- I bumped into someone holding a sign with my full name on it.

- I have seen multiple ghosts, one UFO.

- A dog birthed puppies on top of me.

You've GOTTA tell that one.  ;D

That was actually pretty non-eventful...though it does sound intriguing enough on the surface. I was approached at a German bar shortly after being sent to Berlin in '82 by a guy who claimed to be a german restaurant owner, who wanted to get some information on new units who were coming in (how many, what type of units, etc...), supposedly so he could "do better business with our american friends." He wanted our secure unit telephone book as well. He offered to pay a thousand marks (about $300 at the time) for that "harmless" little information. I let our unit's security chief know about it when I got back to the barracks and the MP's went in to the bar the next day and hauled the guy out. I was standing outside when they went in and simply nodded at the MP captain who was there to acknowledge that it was the same guy from the previous day. I learned about a month later that he wasn't german at all, but a soviet...and had been shipped off to some german prison.

If you'd like a little sneak peek into the whole soviet-american tension of the 80's, come down to a tailgate party this year, pour me a beer and get me to tell you about the "Soviet Colonel's Disneyland Directive." You'll like that one...it's a tear-jerker in dress greens.  ;)

I met the band Deadeye Dick (That annoying New Age Girl Merry-Mo song) after their show in Melbourne FL and I told them to their faces that they sucked. (I was very drunk)

I can't believe that I almost forgot this one. I had a drug dealer pull a gun on me once.

-Also witnessed a UFO.

-While working, we were held up and robbed in my early retail days.
(Gunpoint and pistol whipped.  I swear I woulda cut that motherf***er's eyes out and stuffed 'em in his mouth, then severed his jugular to watch him die of blood loss on the floor)...

^^^
Dunno if that counts cuz obviously it wasn't intended to happen.  But never thought in my wildest dreams it would happen (to me).

I may have had a gun pulled on me.  The guy that tried to mug me said he had a gun pointed at me from beneath his jacket, and since we're talking Rio de Janeiro here, I'd say the odds are even that he did.  I just never saw it.


I met the Backstreet Boys and Creed at a corporate event, just after they first got famous. I told the BS boys that their music sucked while stone-cold sober.  Hung out with the Creed boys and got pretty wasted; they were pretty cool.

Dude, I remember that!  It was you and Rudy, right?  Turned out it had been an inside job, if I remember!

Basically, I had a weiner dog that was pregnant and would sleep in the bed with me.  I was sleeping one night, and I squirmed and heard a little whine.  I woke up, and there were 2 little puppies on my shins...with a few more on the way.  It was pretty cool.

I may do just that!  It'll be like a Clancy novel, only with a 49er-Dolphins fan protagonist...

Was Scott Stapp there? If so, you may be the only person in the world who has ever called him cool. I have always heard he was a dick.

He wasn't a dick; he was more aloof than anything, sort of off to himself.  He was friendly enough, though.  Some fellow Hurricanes fans were busting his chops about the Wide Right and Wide Left games, since he's a 'Nole.  He was cool about it, but you could tell he'd rather be left alone.

I really got along well with their guitarist, Mark Tremonti.  Really nice guy.  "My Own Prison" had just made the radio, so he was still kind of awed at all the girls throwing themselves at him.  At one point, he looked at me and said "where were all these girls when I was in high school?" It was funny to see everything through their eyes for a night.

LOL...I just can't see myself starring in any Tom Clancy novel. I am way too much the anti-hero.

Maybe a Stephen R Donaldson character...

And the winner is.....


Honorable mentions...
Driving an aircraft carrier
Home demo with a 50 caliber
making good defensive plays in high school against guys who are now NFL stars.
anything to do with sex and/or tall female collegiate athletes!

I assume you are referring to mine. If so, it was a submarine not an aircraft carrier! I wasn't a target! (this is in reference to an old submariner joke- there are two types of ships in the Navy: submarines and targets)

Submarines - kind of like a grown-up version of hide and seek.  *yawn*

 >:D

Or DolFan619.

I must've missed that post by him!