My name is Tommy, and I'm running for administrator!!!!

[YoFuggedaboutit]

Are you trying to win voters or convince more people NOT to vote for you?

Neither.  I'm just fucking around.  That's the whole point of this thread.

[Sunstroke]

Bumfuck Central Florida (AP)

A very small but very annoying upshoot political party saw it's dreams shattered today, as make-believe party candidate Tommy was assassinated this afternoon as he left his day job at Burger King. Witnesses say that Tommy was just about to get in his 1975 Pacer in the parking lot when a single gunshot was fired, striking the victim in the back of his skull. One man who was munching onion rings and staring out the window told us "It was like that comedian dude with the sledge-o-matic and the watermelon, but it was a bullet instead of a sledgehammer, and it was that fat dude's head instead of a watermelon. Other than that, it looked pretty much the same."

After an exhaustive 7 minute manhunt, federal agents found the assassin, Sunstroke Horatio Stevens, at a bar across the street, singing loudly and buying drinks for the house. When asked why he had commited such a welcome heinous crime, Sunstroke told reporters "He was playing motherfukking make-believe politics, so I took my mutherfucking make believe sniper rifle and vetoed his motherfucking make believe head across the hood of that motherfucking make believe piece of shit Pacer. Now he can be a motherfucking make believe martyr."

Sunstroke was later released from police custody when it was discovered that he hadn't actually commited a crime. Sheriff Bo Caraton summed it up..."In Florida it is perfectly legal to exterminate rodents and cockroaches, and we have discovered hard evidence which proved conclusively that the deceased had a little bit of both in him."

[Tenshot13]

^WOW that's harsh...and very creative

[YoFuggedaboutit]

^WOW that's harsh...and very creative

Don't worry about Stroke.  He only gets this way when his hemmrhoids flare up. 

[Sunstroke]

Don't worry about Stroke.  He only gets this way when his hemmrhoids flare up. 

I've called you a lot of names, but I don't recall ever calling you a "hemorrhoid" when you flare up...though I do see a few parallels.

[YoFuggedaboutit]

I've called you a lot of names, but I don't recall ever calling you a "hemorrhoid" when you flare up...though I do see a few parallels.

What's the matter Stroke?  You forgot your Preparation H?

[Sunstroke]

What's the matter Stroke?  You forgot your Preparation H? 

If I thought squeezing a tube of it over your head would chase you off to another board, I'd be willing to give it a shot... ;-)