You're the GM- Detroit Lions

[YoFuggedaboutit]

Congratulations, your team has just set the bar for historically awful.  As a result, the coaching staff and front office were swept out from top to bottom.  One look at this team, and you realize that you've got your work cut out for you. 

For starters, you went through four QB's last season, one of which was a gimp-legged former Pro Bowler who clearly isn't the same since he got hurt.    You do have some talent at WR and RB so at least you have a starting point.  Your offensive line can't block a butterfly, and your defense can't stop an old man in a wheelchair. 

In the cold and chilly confines of Detroit, how do you get this engine running again, and lead this team back to respectability?

[fyo]

If I were the OWNER, I'd offer Parcell's a 5% stake in the team (as much as $50M) to turn the ship around. Rumor has it, he could cash out in Miami RIGHT NOW.

Forbes lists the Lions as one of the least valuable franchises in the NFL. That's not surprising, I guess, but of the $900+ million they value the franchise at, more than 2/3rds comes from league shared revenue. 25% of the remaining is the value of their stadium. Not much left for the "Lions" brand and local market sales.

Of course, (William Clay) Ford paid $5 million for the franchise in '64, so close to a billion now is pretty good, I guess.

[Fau Teixeira]

but then he'd have to live in detroit .. why would anyone want to do that ?

[MaineDolFan]

I get myself fired and take my golden parachute to greener pastures. 

[bsfins]

1.) Fire the Strength and Condtioning coach....They have some Young talant on both sides of the ball,years of high draft picks ya know...

2.) Start rebuilding the O-lines and D-lines with draft picks,and cheaper free agents...The division you're in It's imperitave to stop the run...M.Forte,A.Peterson,Ryan Grant....(The lions were 6th against the run this year) Which I believe is decieving,we sucked against the pass 22nd...

3) I need atleast one pass rusher....preferably two,but I seem to be lacking the one guy that can get to the QB consistanlty...I like the youth of Cliff Avril 5 sacks,D.White had 6.5 sacks I don't think I'd keep him,a little old in this rebuilding project..

4.) Go with one of the Younger Qb's on the roster,and take a Late round draft pick to develop...Dump Culpepper,and Kitna....

5.)Get a Big play yound MLB to troll the middle of that Defense....I've got quick outside backers...

I'm going to hit the youth movement,and avoid the Veterans as much as possible...If I get fired,I'm going to leave lots of up and coming guys...Not a bunch of win now old farts,that put you in cap hell....

6.)I would try to draft....OL,DE,MLB,S,RB,RB,QB

[JVides]

Build from the lines out.  OL & DL heavy in 2009.  Become a team that runs the ball and stops the run, then go from there next year.  Don't waste picks on skill position players right now; the lines are wretched.

[Sunstroke]

* Petition the NFL for reinstatement
* Once reinstated, send a letter to the rest of the Arena League, thanking them for letting you play in that league the last few years.
* Hire Scott Pioli, give him a lifetime contract and 100% power on all personnel matters
* Send Matt Millen a fruitcake laced with anthrax
* Trade with Cleveland for Derek Anderson on the cheap
* Spend both first round picks on O-linemen
* Spend every other draft pick and all FA dollars on young defensive players

[YoFuggedaboutit]

Draft Alabama LT Andre Smith number one overall, and offer a lower round pick to Cleveland for Derek Anderson. 

Look for pass rushing specialists and quality corners in rounds 2-4, then bulk up on both sides of the line with the rest of my draft picks.

[VidKid]

I got a great email about their 2009 schedule... this should help them next season:

2009 Lions schedule and new rules

September
13................Taft Junior High School
20................Cub Scout Troop #101
27................ Detroit Blind Academy
October
04................ Spanish American War Vets
11................ Crippled Children's Home
18................ Eloise Mental Hospital
25.................Girl Scout Troop # 353
November
01................ Michigan Venereal Disease Clinic
08.................Fraser Boys Choir
15.................Korean Amputees
22.................National Hospital Pastorial Ministers
26.................Great Lakes Sychronized Swimming Team

SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December 08..........Grand Rapids Gay Boys Club

RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - When playing polio patients, the Lions must not disconnect knee braces.
2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Lions must not hide the football under their jerseys.

RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line. For all you Lions fans that have never
seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Lions will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Lions will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Lions will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5 - The Lions will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten
yards.


NAME CHANGE **
The Detroit Lions will be changed to the "Detroit Tampons" as they are only
good for one period and have no second string.

** COACHING CHANGES **
Field goal kicker will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She
will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!

[Dolphin-UK]

- Trade Calvin Johnson to Miami for a 7th Rounder

- Try and draft another quarter back called Drew and dump Kitna and Culpepper to have an all Drew QB lineup eclipsing the double Chads of Miami.