A problem with social networking.

[Dave Gray]

I find social network stuff, like Facebook, to be butting right up to the line of my personal privacy.

I'm not a private person, by nature, and I pretty much have it all on the table, but there are times when others are seeing things through my friends (or I'm seeing about them) that I'm not really all that cool with.

Here's what I'm talking about: As I'm sure you can all imagine, things that I say to people change, depending on company and appropriate timing.  However, online takes that away.  If I got drunk and threw up at a party and my close friends want to jab me about it, whatever.  (This is just an example)  But I'm not sure I want my 13 year old niece to be privy to that info.

At the same time, I think that her privacy and development is important, and it's probably not cool for me to see photos of her giving the middle finger, or whatever she does in her circle of friends.

Now, I can avoid posting those pictures or things about myself.  ...and she can do the same.  But with so many people connected, some that we both may know, things start popping up about you that is fine in certain company, but not cool in other.

This isn't a huge issue for me just yet.  But I see it being weird already.

[Tenshot13]

I've been doing the myspace/facebook thing for a while, and although it can be annoying and almost an invasion of privacy, I only blame myself for people seeing things I don't want them to see.  Lucky for me, I really don't care what people think, and if they want to judge me on that kind of thing then they can GFTS.  Myspace has a privacy setting so people who aren't your friends can't see your page.  I don't know if Facebook does (don't go on it all that much).

[Dave Gray]

It's not so much things that are BAD, either.  I am of course responsible for my own behavoir.

But what about this -- There are people that I know (but not well) from this site, where I used to go to school, etc and so on.  I might not want them freely browsing pictures of my family.  ..and I don't have kids yet, but I'd imagine I'd be more protective at that point.

[run_to_win]

I agree with your concerns and my solution is to "social network" in real life.   

[Phishfan]

I don't use these types of sites for the same reason. This is the only socialization I do other than face to face.

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

I think part of it is you ought not put yourself in a position that a public photo would cause a problem.

But I think the bigger problem is if your real friends are posting pictures of you despite a request not to.

If you have a friend who has a photo of you vomiting while drunk or flipping someone off and it is a photo you do not want posted on the internet and you ask them to not post it /remove it and they won't honor that request you might want to rethink whether they are in fact a friend. 

I recall reading one 19 year old female college students editorial after news of 4 high school students getting suspended because one of their friends had posted a picture of the four of them sneaking booze into a high school dance.

Her whole editorial was aimed not at the school for being to strict on the students or the students for being irresponsible, but at the poster for putting up the picture.  She pointed out that she had plenty of pictures of her high school friends that while nothing so serious to get anyone suspended, dozens that would have resulted in her friends getting grounded or other problems with the parents if their parents ever saw them.  And her friends had pictures of her that would cause her mom and dad to go ballistic if they ever saw them.  But while they would show each other the photos and have a good laugh they never got posted on the internet. 

[CF DolFan]

I do realize I'm old and all but my view is that while little good can come from these type of sites, a lot of bad can result.  Bottom line for me is the reward isn't worth the risk.

[StL FinFan]

I don't participate in those type of websites.  I live by the rule: If you post a picture on the internet, it is no longer yours.

[Defense54]

Big Problem here in the schools. 13 years olds taking Nude Pics of themselves becuase they just don't get the consquences. Cell phones and other devices are changing the world we live in. You need to be really careful about the info you give out over the Web.......even here. It will Follow you. We were given an 8 hour Cyber crime class by the dept of homeland security recently........watch who and what you say on the net! 

[Gabriel]

I find the Facebook privacy settings to be sufficient. I'm quite judicious about whom I allow to "friend" me and even then, most of those people do not have access to my photo albums or pics of me tagged by others. Of course, there are still some privacy concerns such as the world colliding issue Dave mentioned, but I haven't had any problems yet. For me, the risk is worth the reward of being able to easily keep up with friends and family that live all over the world.

[bsmooth]

You are talking about a couple generations of kids and young adults who have grown up watching people become famous for doing stupid stuff and being caught in compromising situations. They do not or have not see the true liabilities that come from puttin up photos and vidoes until now.

[crazy_scar_man]

I only allowed my boss to see my profile. He cannot view any of my posts or pictures. I did the same thing with other co-workers.

[SportsChick]

I like that facebook lets me set my security as I see fit. I can have photos that only certain people can see, any of my friends can see etc.

Unless you know my full name or my e-mail addy, you're not finding me

[Dave Gray]

I think some of you might be missing the point.  These are not things that are necessarily bad.  Even alcohol.  I'm a 31 year old man, so if someone takes a picture of me at a party where some other dude is doing a kegstand, there's nothing wrong with that.

However, it probably not the picture that I want painted for other, impressionable people in my life.

So, I may not be doing the kegstand, not taking the picture, and not uploading it.  But I'm still part of it because of who I'm connected to.  And there's nothing specifically objectionable enough where I would have cause to be upset with the person who took or uploaded the picture.

It's just a weird generation gap.

But also, it goes the other way.  I have nieces and nephews in college.  What they do their is their business.  But you know how that stuff is -- I get picture updates I probably shouldn't be seeing, of things their friends uploaded that they're tagged in.  It puts a weird position on our relationship.

[crazy_scar_man]

Part of my job is to create Facebook accounts for clients. All of us in the Interactive department are 'friends', but I'm also friends with alot of AA (alcoholic anonymous) friends and then I've got old friends from high school that found me asking if I still do shots of Southern Comfort all the time.

I agree with you that, unlike anything else, it is a collision of parts of my life I like to keep seperate. If it wasn't part of my job, I wouldn't be on it. It's like another job, setting permissions for this person or that person or 'untagging' myself from photos.