Padded Bras = False advertising = stupid girl

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

StL's comment about push-up bras reminded me of an experience in college.  I wonder if anyone ever had anything similar happen. 

This girl I dated in college.  I had known her as a friend since we were Freshmen we were now juniors. When I first started dating her a bunch of her ex-s who were friends of mine warned me she was a flirt and a tease.  She will seduce you but the second you start making a move she will slap you down.

Nice girl.  Not super hot, but attractive enough.  Appeared to be large B or small C in cup size. 

After we for dinner and a movie I walk her back to her dorm room on Friday night and she asks me in and mentions her roommate went home for the weekend.  I go in.  Sitting on her dresser is a box of condoms in plain view with no effort to be hidden. 

We start to make out after a while I start to unbutton her blouse.  Before I even have the first button undone she pushes my hand away and rebukes me.  I apologize for going too fast and we return to making out.  A little while later I try again.  Same result.  A bit later she mentions she is a virgin and can't wait for her first time.  I take this a hint that she is now ready for me to start unbuttoning her shirt.  Same result. 

I get up and announce I am going back to my dorm room. She begs me to stay.  I stay.  I try again.  I get stopped again before the first button.  I get up to leave she begs me to stay.  I leave.

Next day I see her at brunch she apologizes our date went bad.  And we should try again.  I agree hoping for better results.  I figured maybe she is just playing hard to get and I continue to unbutton her blouse after she pushes my hand away.  She turns quite forceful and defends herself as if I am trying to rape her.  She ain't just playing hard to get she absolutely doesn't want me to unbutton her shirt.  I go to leave.  She asks me to stay.  I leave anyway. 

I then see her in the caf for dinner.  She asks me if I am mad at her.  I tell not really mad but tell her she is an annoying tease.   She apologizes and says we should try again.  I decline.  She insists.  I agree hoping maybe the third try would be a charm.  Figuring maybe it is just nervousness about it being her first time. 

Well, it starts off about the same.  Eventually, I have had it.  I shout, "you are a fucking nut case  You tell me you want to have sex, but every time I go to unbutton one button you stop me."

She blurts out in tears, "well I don't want you to unbutton my shirt, but you can take off my pants" 

So I remove her lower clothing, I get naked and we do the deed with her still wearing her shirt and bra.  She was truthful about being a virgin. I spend the night.  She never removes her top.

After several different dates all with her keeping her top on, I decide to push the issue. She is very defensive.  I insist in wanting to know why.  She starts crying and says I am going to break up with her when I find out.  I assure her I am not and conclude she probably had breast cancer or something serious.  I tell her it will be okay.  She tells me she is flat chested and mosquito bites are bigger than her breasts. I tell her that it is okay. 

I gently coax her into removing her shirt then bra.  Her bra is filled with foam and she was right -- she was totally flat. 

She hadn't had many dates in high school and blamed it on her lack of breasts so she decided that she would wear a padded bra in college so she would attract more boys. 

And it did work to an extent.  According to her she had dates with 20 guys before me she is certain she would not have had that many if it was not for the padded bra.  But all 20 ended the same way...with the guy breaking up with her over the mixed signals of wanting sex but her not letting them remove her shirt.  I was the first one she told to go for the pants instead.  And that was only because I gave it more of a go than most boys who broke up quicker.  What guy would try to remove a girls pants if she wouldn't let him touch her shirt?

What the hell was she thinking?  What is the point of attracting guys who only like big breasted women, if you ain't got them.   At some point you have to let them know the truth.  If the breasts do matter then what was the point in wasting both your time.  If the guy doesn't really care (such as me) what do you gain with the lie? You can still attract him without them.   Eventually we broke up for reasons totally unrelated to breast size.

Anybody ever deal with similar type of fake breasted women? 

[StL FinFan]

Sounds like a case of low self esteem to me.

[Brian Fein]

Sounds like a case of low self esteem to me.

Word.

Sounds like she felt like she wasn't attracting guys because of her breasts (or lack thereof), but in reality it was probably because she's got self-image issues and lacks confidence.

[Phishfan]

I had a similar experience but I knew the girl for quite some time and knew what to expect. When I stayed with her the first time she broke out some really hot lingerie, that she kept on.

[Pappy13]

This is college right?  Why didn't she just get a breast augmentation?  I know they can be expensive, so that might have been the issue, but if this girl was really having this much of an issue with it, sounds like it would be well worth it.  From my understanding this procedure is really common these days and most girls don't really need it.  It's not really that painful and the results can be great.

My daughter had just the opposite problem in High School, she was a bit on the heavy side and her breasts were rather large and actually caused her discomfort in her back and she considered getting a reduction.  My wife and I both said we would pay to have the procedure done if she wanted it.  She never did have it done, ended up losing a lot of weight which helped and it's not really an issue today, but I can't imagine a parent not wanting to help with something like that.

And while I agree there might be a bit of a self esteem problem here, this goes way beyond vanity in my opinion.  If she really was that flat, it would impact her ability to have a relationship with guys.  There's no reason to let something like that be an issue.  There's enough issues that young women have to deal with without having something like this to deal with too.

[Sunstroke]

I dated a girl my senior year of HS who was pretty self-conscious about her "breast imperfection," though it had nothing to do with size. She just had a funky shaped left nipple, or rather, the areola around the nipple. It wasn't so much that the nipple was shaped weird, just that she had a birthmark the same color as her nipple that actually connected with it, making it look like the nipple was actually stretching an inch or so toward her sternum. When she told me about it, prior to her taking her top off the first time, I told her that it didn't matter to me at all, and then I told her about my triangular scar on the head of my johnson (self inflicted).  Once she realized that I truly didn't care about the nipple imperfection, and wasn't perfect myself, she wanted to take her shirt off pretty much every time we were together.

According to her she had dates with 20 guys before me she is certain she would not have had that many if it was not for the padded bra.  But all 20 ended the same way...with the guy breaking up with her over the mixed signals of wanting sex but her not letting them remove her shirt.

This is the part of the story that rings my "excuse me?" alarm... She dated 20 guys before you, and it wasn't until the 21st (you) before either she or the guy she's with figured out the "leave the top on, take the bottom off" approach?

[Buddhagirl]

This is college right?  Why didn't she just get a breast augmentation?  I know they can be expensive, so that might have been the issue, but if this girl was really having this much of an issue with it, sounds like it would be well worth it.  From my understanding this procedure is really common these days and most girls don't really need it.  It's not really that painful and the results can be great.

My daughter had just the opposite problem in High School, she was a bit on the heavy side and her breasts were rather large and actually caused her discomfort in her back and she considered getting a reduction.  My wife and I both said we would pay to have the procedure done if she wanted it.  She never did have it done, ended up losing a lot of weight which helped and it's not really an issue today, but I can't imagine a parent not wanting to help with something like that.

And while I agree there might be a bit of a self esteem problem here, this goes way beyond vanity in my opinion.  If she really was that flat, it would impact her ability to have a relationship with guys.  There's no reason to let something like that be an issue.  There's enough issues that young women have to deal with without having something like this to deal with too.

As the president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, it does not affect your relationship with guys. Trust.

[Phishfan]

^^^ For the girl in this example it did apparently.

[Buddhagirl]

^^^ For the girl in this example it did apparently.

She sounds young and inexperienced. Hopefully she grew out of it.

[Pappy13]

She sounds young and inexperienced. Hopefully she grew out of it.

So what do you recommend?  Padded bra or not? 

I do know a lot of guys that like the very lean looking girl with practically nothing up top, but is there anything wrong with enhancing your curves just a bit?

[Buddhagirl]

So what do you recommend?  Padded bra or not? 

I do know a lot of guys that like the very lean looking girl with practically nothing up top, but is there anything wrong with enhancing your curves just a bit?

I wear whatever works for my outfit. Also...it's really, really hard to find bras that aren't padded in certain sizes.

I have no issues with enhancing your curves a bit, but there's a big difference between a push-up bra and undergoing surgery.

[tepop84]

I don't know why girls are so stupid.  I would much rather have a girl with a tight body with a cups than a girl with c or d cups because she has a gut on her.

[Buddhagirl]

I don't know why girls are so stupid.  I would much rather have a girl with a tight body with a cups than a girl with c or d cups because she has a gut on her.

Not all of us are stupid. I figured that out ages ago.

[Pappy13]

I have no issues with enhancing your curves a bit, but there's a big difference between a push-up bra and undergoing surgery.

Is there?  The surgery is really pretty simple.  A couple of very tiny incisions that heal very quickly.  There's very little risk involved.  There is the cost factor which is big, but if it enchances your overall self-esteem, what's the problem?  There are a ton of women who have the surgery done just to enhance what they already have a bit, I don't see what the harm is for this girl who obviously had a bigger issue with it. 

I'm friends with a nearly 50 year old woman who just had it done because she recently got divorced and was starting to date again.  She was absolutely overjoyed with the results.  She also lost some weight, had her hair style changed, etc.  The procedure is pretty common now.

Now I'm not saying it's for everyone and I'm not saying that if you're against surgery or if you like the way you look that you should go have it done anyway, I'm not advocating that at all.  But if it's a problem, I don't really see what the harm is in having a bit of minor surgery to make you feel better about yourself.

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

This is the part of the story that rings my "excuse me?" alarm... She dated 20 guys before you, and it wasn't until the 21st (you) before either she or the guy she's with figured out the "leave the top on, take the bottom off" approach?

That struck me as odd too.  

Not the guys.  I would never try to take off a girls pants who had flat out denied access to the shirt for fear of an attempted rape charge.  

As for her.  I think it was part of the overall self esteem issues she had.  And it part had to do with she for a while may have been more interested in just having guys wanting to have sex with her than her actually wanting to go all the way.  Plus I never saw her naked when the room was fully lighted.  Only with just the equivalent of a night light, the few times we had sex during the day she took off her pants under a blanket.  Saying she had body-acceptance/ self-esteem issues is more of an understatement than saying the population of NYC is larger than 6.  

I think up until me she may have feared being discovered as flat was a greater concern than the desire for sex. I don't even think the number one reason for her telling me to take off her pants was she wanted sex but just not wanting to be dumped for the 21st time.  

The one thing she absolutely begged of me when we broke up was that I keep my promise not to tell anyone of her "major flaw" (her term, not mine).  

This is college right?  Why didn't she just get a breast augmentation?  I know they can be expensive, so that might have been the issue,

That was part of it.  

I can't imagine a parent not wanting to help with something like that.

This was the larger issue.  Her parents wouldn't even let her wear a padded bra let alone help pay for breast augmentation.  In high school she tried to slowly grow her breast from flat to a size she liked by starting with a small padded bra and planned to progressive go larger so it would seem natural.  When her parents found out that she was not in fact having a growth spurt, they took away her bras and sent her to a counselor to help her with self esteem and body acceptance issues.  Going back to high school and facing her friends once again completely flat after two weeks of having small boobs did absolutely nothing to help her self esteem issues.  Particularly when a couple of boys questioned her on it.   

She had chosen this college which was pretty far from home because nobody from her hometown attended it.  So she could wear her padded bra at school and return to be being flat chested at home.  Her parents were paying for most of her college so telling them to eff off wasn't really an option.  

When one person from her high school enrolled the following year she begged him to keep her secret.  He agreed to but told her she was nuts and that plenty of guys prefer small breasted/ flat women including himself.  She thank him for being so polite but flat out didn't believe him and was convinced he was lying about that just to be nice.  Which really goes to show how much of a problem she had.  He dated only flat/small women.   Yet she didn't believe him when he told her he thought she was much more attractive in high school without the ugly lumps then she had now.  And still didn't when I pointed out to her that of the three girls he dated in college two were totally flat and the other one was AA.  

She did get augmentation once she graduated college.  Her parents thought it was a foolish waste of money but did finally grow to accept how important it was to her.  We hadn't stay much in touch after college, but about two or three years after we graduated I got a letter and some photos.  She celebrated paying off her last installment on the boob job by going to a professional photographer and doing a topless photo shoot.   The boobs looked good and I had never seen smile so wide and pretty as she did in those photos.