Padded Bras = False advertising = stupid girl

[Buddhagirl]

Is there?  The surgery is really pretty simple.  A couple of very tiny incisions that heal very quickly.  There's very little risk involved.  There is the cost factor which is big, but if it enchances your overall self-esteem, what's the problem?  There are a ton of women who have the surgery done just to enhance what they already have a bit, I don't see what the harm is for this girl who obviously had a bigger issue with it. 

I'm friends with a nearly 50 year old woman who just had it done because she recently got divorced and was starting to date again.  She was absolutely overjoyed with the results.  She also lost some weight, had her hair style changed, etc.  The procedure is pretty common now.

Now I'm not saying it's for everyone and I'm not saying that if you're against surgery or if you like the way you look that you should go have it done anyway, I'm not advocating that at all.  But if it's a problem, I don't really see what the harm is in having a bit of minor surgery to make you feel better about yourself.

I don't care about women getting fake boobs. That's their business and I know women that have had it done. However, to say that a boob job is a "bit of minor surgery" is wrong. You're going under the knife and being placed under anesthesia which is always risky. You're also adding a completely foreign substance to your body. That's way different than getting a $20 push up bra.

[Pappy13]

I just don't understand parents like that.  They caused her far more pain then if they would have just understood that it was important for her.  I'm glad they finally came around after she had it done, but they could have saved her a lot of grief.

Yes as a society I recognize that we put to much emphasis on looks, but it's a fact of life.  Trying to deny that we do is just burying your head in the sand which doesn't help either.

[Sunstroke]

Yes as a society I recognize that we put to much emphasis on looks, but it's a fact of life.  Trying to deny that we do is just burying your head in the sand which doesn't help either.

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!

There are a lot of areas in society where we silly carbon-based monkeys are pretty screwed up, and the overemphasis we put on physical appearances is just one of them. Filing the bad things away as "facts of life" inevitably leads to "not attempting to change it" though.

[Pappy13]

I don't care about women getting fake boobs. That's their business and I know women that have had it done. However, to say that a boob job is a "bit of minor surgery" is wrong. You're going under the knife and being placed under anesthesia which is always risky. You're also adding a completely foreign substance to your body. That's way different than getting a $20 push up bra.

Well I'm no expert on the subject, but the type of anesthesia you are given varies.  You don't have to be given a general, you can be given a local which is no different then getting a local at a dentist.  And as far as I know there's no evidence that implants are bad for your health.  Depending on the type you get, even if they rupture, it's not really considered harmful although you would probably have to have a second surgery to correct the problem.  Infection is a slight risk, but can usually be handled with antibiotics.

The procedure has changed considerably in the last 20 years.  It's about as minor of surgery you can have.  Yes, it's still surgery and there are always risks, but complications are very rare.

Apparently she eventually had it done and was quite proud of the results.  I just don't see the big deal.

[Pappy13]

There are a lot of areas in society where we silly carbon-based monkeys are pretty screwed up, and the overemphasis we put on physical appearances is just one of them. Filing the bad things away as "facts of life" inevitably leads to "not attempting to change it" though.

And there are times when the cure is worse than the disease.  Telling your daughter she needs counseling to deal with body issues because she wants to wear a padded bra is probably one of the reasons that she had such a self-esteem problem in the first place.  My gut tells me if they would have let her just do it, she probably would have eventually realized that it wasn't such a big deal after all and wouldn't have had the problems that she did.  Maybe not, but still I don't think they were helping, I think they were making it worse.

[Buddhagirl]

Well I'm no expert on the subject, but the type of anesthesia you are given varies.  You don't have to be given a general, you can be given a local which is no different then getting a local at a dentist.  And as far as I know there's no evidence that implants are bad for your health.  Depending on the type you get, even if they rupture, it's not really considered harmful although you would probably have to have a second surgery to correct the problem.  Infection is a slight risk, but can usually be handled with antibiotics.

The procedure has changed considerably in the last 20 years.  It's about as minor of surgery you can have.  Yes, it's still surgery and there are always risks, but complications are very rare.

Apparently she eventually had it done and was quite proud of the results.  I just don't see the big deal.

Surgery is surgery and there are always risks. Period. That's a bit different from a padded bra.

[Sunstroke]

And there are times when the cure is worse than the disease.  Telling your daughter she needs counseling to deal with body issues because she wants to wear a padded bra is probably one of the reasons that she had such a self-esteem problem in the first place.  My gut tells me if they would have let her just do it, she probably would have eventually realized that it wasn't such a big deal after all and wouldn't have had the problems that she did.  Maybe not, but still I don't think they were helping, I think they were making it worse.

Or maybe if the parents and her friends had just let her know through positive reinforcement as she was growing up that "small breasts are OK," and "what's inside is much more important," she'd have no need for a padded bra, augmentation or a mental health counselor.

I get where you're coming from, Pappy, I really do, and have enough behavioral psych credits to appreciate it...but it still aggravates the bejabbers out of me.

[Spider-Dan]

I don't know why girls are so stupid.  I would much rather have a girl with a tight body with a cups than a girl with c or d cups because she has a gut on her.

I'd rather have a woman with a bit of a gut and some curves up top (and preferably below) than a flat-chested stick figure.  But that's me.

[StL FinFan]

I just don't understand parents like that.  They caused her far more pain then if they would have just understood that it was important for her.  I'm glad they finally came around after she had it done, but they could have saved her a lot of grief.

Yes as a society I recognize that we put to much emphasis on looks, but it's a fact of life.  Trying to deny that we do is just burying your head in the sand which doesn't help either.

Her parents thought it was a self esteem problem and tried to help her with that .  I would have done the same, except I would not have taken away the  padded bras.  Once she was  done growing (which is generally at 25 years of age) and  still wanted it done, I would give my blessing.

I know women who have had augmentations.  It takes weeks of healing.  It's not just wake up and you're fine.  Implants can move, leak and cause painful scar tissue to develop (these have all happened to people I personally know).  There may be other complications I am not aware of.  It is not a decision to be taken lightly, but it is a personal one.  If it will help you feel better about yourself, go right ahead.  It sounds like the physical change did the trick for the girl in question here, but it does not work like that for everyone.

I know one girl who did the reduction surgery.  She could not wait to get it done.  She hated men looking at her chest and ignoring her.  That kind of surgery was way worse than the enhancement.  I shudder to think about it.

Personally, I don't want to have any kind of surgery unless it's absolutely necessary.  My small chest did bother me when I was younger but I learned to accept my body "as is".

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

I just don't understand parents like that.  They caused her far more pain then if they would have just understood that it was important for her.  I'm glad they finally came around after she had it done, but they could have saved her a lot of grief.

Yes as a society I recognize that we put to much emphasis on looks, but it's a fact of life.  Trying to deny that we do is just burying your head in the sand which doesn't help either.

I have mixed views.  I was happy to see her smiling in those photos. And her parents certainly could have done things better. But I actually agree with her parents on what she really needed was to come to terms with accepting who she was instead of getting fake boobs.

I started going bald in high school, on at least a dozen occasions my parents have offered to pay for me to get hair replacement. Each time I have turned them down.  If you are so shallow that my hairline matters, I don't want to be your friend anyway.  

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

The procedure has changed considerably in the last 20 years.  

I graduated college in 1989. 

[Buddhagirl]

Her parents thought it was a self esteem problem and tried to help her with that .  I would have done the same, except I would not have taken away the  padded bras.  Once she was  done growing (which is generally at 25 years of age) and  still wanted it done, I would give my blessing.

I have to agree on the 25 years to be done growing. I was TINY in high school. I finally filled out a bit by the time I was around 23. Still small chested, but bigger than I was in high school.

[Pappy13]

Or maybe if the parents and her friends had just let her know through positive reinforcement as she was growing up that "small breasts are OK," and "what's inside is much more important," she'd have no need for a padded bra, augmentation or a mental health counselor.

I get where you're coming from, Pappy, I really do, and have enough behavioral psych credits to appreciate it...but it still aggravates the bejabbers out of me.

I have to ask and don't take this the wrong way, but do you have kids?  I ask because I honestly believe that having kids and being a parent changes your views on things.  Sure, I wish we all lived in a world that didn't care what anyone thinks about how you look, but the reality of it is we don't.  We live in a world where kids learn at an early age about designer jeans, make-up, push-up bras etc.  There's a ton of pressure put on kids to fit in.  Combine that with the fact that kids are going through a ton of changes with their bodies, hormones and all that and you have one volatile cocktail brewing there.  I have lived through that with 5 kids now and I'll tell you it's not easy for the parents let alone the child.

Sometimes it's simply not enough to let them know that looks aren't all that important.  Sometimes you need to be there for them and support them by purchasing the designer clothes, helping them pick out the appropriate make-up and yeah maybe even getting a padded bra.  Building a solid relationship with your kids is every bit as important as teaching them values etc.  If your child doesn't view you as someone they can trust to help with the issues, they probably aren't going to be real accepting of your values.  You got to find some common ground and pick your battles.  You can worry about padded bras or you can worry about pregnancy, drug abuse and suicide.  Personally I'm more worried about those issues when it comes to my kids.

[Pappy13]

Her parents thought it was a self esteem problem and tried to help her with that .

Maybe.  And maybe her parents just didn't want her to grow up and be a woman and be attractive to guys.  I know, that's a stretch, I'm just saying we don't really know what their motives were and I can't for the life of me believe that a padded bra issue is worthy of putting a kid into counseling over.

I know women who have had augmentations.  It takes weeks of healing.  It's not just wake up and you're fine.  Implants can move, leak and cause painful scar tissue to develop (these have all happened to people I personally know).  There may be other complications I am not aware of.  It is not a decision to be taken lightly, but it is a personal one.  If it will help you feel better about yourself, go right ahead.  It sounds like the physical change did the trick for the girl in question here, but it does not work like that for everyone.

Well that's not been my experience.  When my wife and I were younger she had a friend that owned some property on a lake.  We would go out there at least a couple times a month in the summer to play sand volleyball, ride sea-do's etc.  We used to call it silicon valley, because I'd say about 95% of the women there had the surgery done.  Most of these women had money to burn just because of the people that lived around there, so the cost was no issue.  Now I really didn't know the women that well, but my wife did and my wife and I talk about EVERYTHING.  She talked with these women that had it done and we talked about what was said and that's when I came to the conclusion that I now hold, that it really isn't that big of a deal. In fact I usually was able to view the results of such surgeries (my wife isn't the jealous type).  This was within days or weeks of the surgery being performed in some cases and you could barely notice the incisions.

I already said it's not for everyone, but it really is a pretty minor procedure.  There can be complications, which usually requires another surgery to correct.  There are risks, but they rare.  It's not a decision I would make lightly either, but if that was the decision made, I would have no problem supporting it.

[Pappy13]

I graduated college in 1989. 

Good point.  It was a bigger issue in 1989.