Padded Bras = False advertising = stupid girl

[Pappy13]

So I don't think it is a self esteem problem if you put on makeup for a date or for work etc.  But I would say a women who won't open the front door to get the morning newspaper without putting her makeup on first has a problem.

I agree to some extent, but I also think this is a rationalization to some extent to help us cope with what we don't like to think about, we are all really pretty insecure.  Some are more than others, but it's just a matter of degree.

And don't forget what you yourself said in your first post:

She hadn't had many dates in high school and blamed it on her lack of breasts so she decided that she would wear a padded bra in college so she would attract more boys.  And it did work to an extent.  According to her she had dates with 20 guys before me she is certain she would not have had that many if it was not for the padded bra.

In her mind her lack of getting dates in high school was because of the size of her breasts and wearing a padded bra fixed the problem.  We all keep telling her that she's wrong, but that's not been her experience.  I can certainly see why she would still believe it even though people were telling her it wasn't true.  Sure, we all know there are guys that prefer a small bra size, but what's the percentage?  If it's 20% of the male population, then she still has a very good point, that she's gonna have a much better chance of finding a guy that's attracted to her with a larger cup size.

[Pappy13]

Why would anyone expect my boobs to be large? While I'm curvy - but tiny - anything over a B cup would be really large on me.  I just find the expectation for all women to have big boobs unrealistic.

I understand that, but perhaps this girl isn't like you.  Perhaps she's not a size 2 and a C cup would look great on her, but she's more like an A cup.  I think that it would be much more difficult for her to rationalize it than you can.  Guys with male pattern baldness go through surgery every bit as bad as a boob job to change it.  I've known guys that were short, 5' 6" or something and I'm telling you now if those guys could get surgery to be 6 foot, they would do it in a heartbeat.  The world is full of examples like this, yet somehow a woman who wants a boob job just has low self-esteem.  I don't buy it.

And I'll go one step further.  I think the reason we all think it's different is because it's her breasts.  We are all hung up on this because none of us want to admit that breast size really DOES matter.  It does.  Whether we choose to admit it or not.  It shouldn't, but it does.  Maybe not to everyone, but enough of us to matter.

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

I understand that, but perhaps this girl isn't like you.  Perhaps she's not a size 2 and a C cup would look great on her, but she's more like an A cup.  I think that it would be much more difficult for her to rationalize it than you can. 

Actually she was very petite and her fake boobs looked oversized for her body shape.  Not real obscene but definitely oversized.  Not as bad as she had originally planned -- double Ds.  Her sister-in-law and older brother were in on it from the beginning and her sister-in-law had talked her down.  The implants were smaller and looked more natural. 

The two of them were vital to making it work as her dad worked weekends and her brother or sister-in-law would volunteer pick her up and drop her off for vacations, beginning and end of semester etc.  Her parents only came for move-in of freshman year and she just prayed nobody would notice her changes and once to pick her up for Xmas break, but a fluffy down coat hit the fact her boobs were missing from anyone at college who might have seen her go from dorm room to car.

And then again for graduation, but by then they knew (not happy, but knew.) Week before Easter she got a very nice job offer (which she accepted) and when heard she was going to be starting make almost as much as her dad, mom asked "so what are you going to buy first?" She responded "boobs" and then told her what she had been doing for four years. 

[Pappy13]

Actually she was very petite and her fake boobs looked oversized for her body shape.  Not real obscene but definitely oversized.  Not as bad as she had originally planned -- double Ds.

Just how petite are we talking?  Double D's does sound a bit crazy, but are you saying that a C cup would have looked oversized for her?  I can't imagine a C cup looking oversized on anyone unless they are like Mary Lou Retton.  Retton is 4'8".

[Buddhagirl]

I understand that, but perhaps this girl isn't like you.  Perhaps she's not a size 2 and a C cup would look great on her, but she's more like an A cup.  I think that it would be much more difficult for her to rationalize it than you can.  Guys with male pattern baldness go through surgery every bit as bad as a boob job to change it.  I've known guys that were short, 5' 6" or something and I'm telling you now if those guys could get surgery to be 6 foot, they would do it in a heartbeat.  The world is full of examples like this, yet somehow a woman who wants a boob job just has low self-esteem.  I don't buy it.

And I'll go one step further.  I think the reason we all think it's different is because it's her breasts.  We are all hung up on this because none of us want to admit that breast size really DOES matter.  It does.  Whether we choose to admit it or not.  It shouldn't, but it does.  Maybe not to everyone, but enough of us to matter.

At what point do you think a person needs help. Have you never heard of body dysmoprhic disorder? This is also what drives anorexia. Or do those not exist.

Also, I would look horrible porny with a C cup.

[Pappy13]

At what point do you think a person needs help. Have you never heard of body dysmoprhic disorder? This is also what drives anorexia. Or do those not exist.

When it starts effecting their health.  Anorexia is not healthy, people with it need help.  Fake boobs are not a health issue as a matter of course.  You can be perfectly healthy with fake boobs.

Also, I would look horrible porny with a C cup.

That's your opinion.

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

That's your opinion.

Of course it is all a matter of a opinion.....

She thought she would look best as a double D.
Her sister-in-law thought she would look most natural as a large A or small B.  As did her brother. (according to her)
The doctor who did the surgery after college though she would look best as an A and refused to go larger than a smallish B and she considered going to another doctor cause she wanted the same size as what she had been wearing in college or larger.  But in the end went with smallish Bs.  (according to the letter I got with the photos)
Her mom and dad though she looked perfect as she was. 
I told her she looked great flat chested, but truth is my opinion is I think she would have looked best as an A.
The boy from her high school thought she looked best flat. 

I think she was a little under 5' and around 90lbs or so. 

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

If it's 20% of the male population, then she still has a very good point, that she's gonna have a much better chance of finding a guy that's attracted to her with a larger cup size.

Or it could be that in college she flirted with anyone & everyone that pees standing up and in high school she was a wall flower.  (And that is not just pure speculation, while she never refereed to herself as a wall flower she did say she was quite shy in high school and didn't start become outgoing until college)

The boobs gave her the confidence.  The confidence is what got her the dates not the boobs. 

[Pappy13]

The boobs gave her the confidence.  The confidence is what got her the dates not the boobs. 

Of course it is all a matter of a opinion.....

So where is the problem?  Her opinion is she needed bigger boobs.  When she had bigger boobs, she had more confidence even if they were fake which led to more dates which led to her being more happy.  Why is her opinion wrong?

You still know this girl?  You can tell her I got her back on this one.

[BoSoxGrl]

I have huge tits.
Problem solved.

[Sunstroke]

^^^ I saw on the forum home page that BoSoxGrl was the last to post in this thread, and my first thought was "Like she has ANY experience with small breasts!"

[Fau Teixeira]

I have huge tits.
Problem solved.

true, but for the record i would have liked you regardless of boob size

[MyGodWearsAHoodie]

So where is the problem? 

Twenty guys broke up with her over the unbuttoning of her shirt.  

We broke up because she went nuts when I opened the door at 3 am to go down the hall to pee and she was wearing a shirt but no bra and she fear that someone might see in and notice she was flat chested and then blab that to the rest of the campus.  She lived at the very end of the hall.  (that was the final straw, short answer is we broke up cause she was nuts)

The next guy she dated broke up with her because he felt deceived.  He said didn't have anything against flat chested women, but he didn't like liars.  He told her he was going to warn all his friends.  I convinced him not to.  But she stopped dating.

You don't see a problem?  

  

You still know this girl?  You can tell her I got her back on this one.

Nope.  I sent her a letter thanking her for the photos and wishing her luck.  Then about a year later I got a post card from her when she was vacationing somewhere (probably either Florida or Mexico I remember it had picture of a beach and it was winter for me at the time), she mentioned she had entered a wet tee shirt contest but didn't win.  That was the last contact.  

[Pappy13]

Twenty guys broke up with her over the unbuttoning of her shirt. 

I'm not saying there wasn't a problem with that, I'm saying that WAS the problem.  I'm saying where is the problem with the solution being to get implants?  Why is that a problem?

We broke up because she went nuts when I opened the door at 3 am to go down the hall to pee and she was wearing a shirt but no bra and she fear that someone might see in and notice she was flat chested and then blab that to the rest of the campus.  She lived at the very end of the hall.  (that was the final straw, short answer is we broke up cause she was nuts)

I thought you said it didn't have anything to do with the size of her breasts?  Sounds like it didn't have anything to do with it for you, but it had a lot to do with it for her.

Actually this isn't that much different from why my first wife divorced me.  My first wife was extremely obsessive over her looks.  It would literally take her about 2 hours to go out of the house because she had to have everything just right.  Make-up, clothes, hair, everything.  I didn't mind really, but honestly I wouldn't have cared if she threw on an old sweatshirt.    That's not why we got divorced though, I would always wait patiently while she got ready. 

Why we got divorced is because then she insisted that I critique her before we left.  Do I look okay?  Is my hair ok?  Does this make me look fat?  ETC.  I would always say she looked great, but it didn't really seem to matter because it really didn't matter to me.  I would have said she looked great if she would have put on the old sweatshirt and I would have meant it and she knew it.  But she NEEDED me to be knocked out.  She NEEDED me to always tell her that she looked great.  She NEEDED me to fawn all over her constantly. 

Well I'm not like that.  I couldn't do it.  I couldn't be fake and tell her what she wanted to hear, because it wasn't me.  We got married very young and she was very insecure, much more insecure than I realized before getting married.  She needed me to constantly tell her how great she looked and I couldn't do it and eventually she resented me because of it.  I tried to tell her that it really didn't matter to me how she looked, but it mattered to her and because it mattered to her she wanted it to matter to me.  She wanted me to be impressed by the lengths that she went to get ready for me, but I just couldn't do it.

There were other reasons as well, I don't want to make it sound like that was the extent of the problems, but that was part of it.  A big part of it.  I'm just saying that I understand it.  I understand it because I was married to someone like that.  Was it a self-esteem problem?  I don't know, to me it was more of a 'young and dumb' problem.  Years later she apologized to me, she realized at some point the whole thing about her looks was silly, but what can you do?  It was important to her at the time.

Nope.  I sent her a letter thanking her for the photos and wishing her luck.  Then about a year later I got a post card from her when she was vacationing somewhere (probably either Florida or Mexico I remember it had picture of a beach and it was winter for me at the time), she mentioned she had entered a wet tee shirt contest but didn't win.  That was the last contact.

/fail

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask for your "guy" card back.

[Pappy13]

I have a question for all of you.

Why do all the pictures of the Dolphins Cheerleaders that we have all been voting for include the upper torso of the woman?  How come they don't just show the face?  I wonder why that is?