Manti Te'o and His Imaginary Girlfriend

[Garrett]

I guess I'm confused, or maybe I don't know the whole story. Why is every sports station talking about this, and how is it even news? So the kid had an imaginary girlfriend. Or he made her up. I would expect his friends to jab at him a little. But the athletic director holding a press conference? Who gives a shit! What am I missing?

[Spider-Dan]

Where is the quote from Te'o where he said that he met her in Hawaii? The only quote I have seen about Te'o meeting her in Hawaii is from his father. Perhaps Manti told his father he met her, but even if this is true it doesn't necessarily make him a fraud and a liar.

Lying makes you a liar.  It's not that complicated.

I believe that Swarbrick said Manti was talking about an online meeting after the Stanford game.

"Their stares got pleasantly tangled, then Manti Te'o extended his hand to the stranger with a warm smile and soulful eyes."

Is this an online stare?  Did he extend his hand towards his... monitor?

It may be possible that his small, normally meaningless lies got caught up in a much bigger (outside) lie.  But the simple fact is that without the (possibly minor) lies about physically meeting her, he would be instantly absolved of blame in this story.  And I daresay that "my girlfriend/potential wife died of leukemia" is a significantly more media-worthy story than "my internet penpal died of leukemia," so he's not precisely blameless here.

[Pappy13]

Lying makes you a liar.  It's not that complicated.

Oh, I see. You're not saying he's any different from any other person on the planet, I thought you were.

"Their stares got pleasantly tangled, then Manti Te'o extended his hand to the stranger with a warm smile and soulful eyes."

Is this an online stare?  Did he extend his hand towards his... monitor?

The person who published this article is a liar. Perhaps he was lieing when he wrote that about Te'o?

It may be possible that his small, normally meaningless lies got caught up in a much bigger (outside) lie.  But the simple fact is that without the (possibly minor) lies about physically meeting her, he would be instantly absolved of blame in this story.

He would be? Even though we know him to be a liar? So if he didn't lie about meeting the girl we must believe everything he says is true? That's not how the world works. Even if I were to prove that he NEVER said that he met the girl, many would still NOT believe he didn't lie about OTHER things. Just because we can't PROVE you lied about something doesn't mean that you were not lieing. Human's are GIFTED liars. Every last one of them. "No officer, I don't know why you pulled me over", "My dog ate my homework", "Honey you look great in that", "There's nothing wrong, why do you ask?", "No I wasn't looking at that girl's ass", "Sorry I'm late, traffic was bad", "I was just about to call you", "I've already mailed the payment" etc etc etc.

And I daresay that "my girlfriend/potential wife died of leukemia" is a significantly more media-worthy story than "my internet penpal died of leukemia," so he's not precisely blameless here.

Completely agree with you there. I'm not trying to make this kid out to be a saint, I certainly don't believe that he is. I don't know whether or not he made the whole thing up, the only difference between what most think and what I think is that I'm willing to give the kid the benefit of the doubt until the whole truth comes out.

[AZ Fins Fan 55]

They just released some nude photos of her this morning.....





 

[Spider-Dan]

Oh, I see. You're not saying he's any different from any other person on the planet, I thought you were.

If "every other person on the planet" lies in interviews with the media, sure.

I am wondering exactly what YOU were talking about when you originally protested me calling him a liar.  Were you, perhaps, insisting that he doesn't lie ALL the time?  Is Barry Bonds a liar?  Is Lance Armstrong a liar?

The guy lied about his relationship with his "girlfriend"; the same relationship that was a major media story.  Absent her leukemia, no one would care and it would be mostly irrelevant... but Te'o was actively participating in feeding the cancer angle.  Two days after (according to him!) he found out about the hoax, he went in front of ESPN's cameras and said, "I think I'll never forget the time when I found out that, you know, my girlfriend passed away and the first person to run to my aid was my defensive coordinator, Coach Diaco, and you know he said something very profound to me."

This is on camera, to a national audience.   And you protest this guy being labeled a liar?

[Dave Gray]

With enough time for some facts to come in and really think about the possibilities, here's what I think is the most likely explanation.

First off, something is fishy.  Exact details I'm sure will come out.  Right now, the story means that either Te'o is complicit in some manner OR that this scam was incredibly involved, including at some point, actually having a girl meet him in different places.

Te'o did get duped, I think.  He was somehow involved in chatting with someone who isn't who he thought she was.  Then, and perhaps not even with explicit intent, he made little white lies about how close they really were.  Embellishments turned into little white lies.  Little white lies turned into  big ones, because the cancer story made it bigger.  And then, when she was fake -- it was too late.  He didn't want to undo all the things he said and have this break during the bowl game, so they all just sat on it.  Publicity is a part of it.


Related: I have a friend who killed himself in high-school.  The emotions were complex for me at the time.  I actually even felt guilty about it, because though it was a tragic event, there was no denying that it was exciting.  Not knowing what the details were as they leaked, the school campus was a frenzy, and because I was friends with him, it made me extra interesting for a few days.  I know I wasn't the only one, because so many people were falling over themselves to tell stories of the kid and how close they were.  I'm sure that there were some "fish stories" in there.

I imagine that Te'o started like this and the positive feedback was so great, it just kept ballooning on himself until there was no backing out.

[EDGECRUSHER]

There is a clip somewhere of Te'o being interviewed after a game on the date in which his girlfriend died. I have been sadder spilling my beer. He isn't even upset. Pretty obvious why that is now.

[Pappy13]

If "every other person on the planet" lies in interviews with the media, sure.

Ok, so then if he lied to his dad about meeting this girl, that wasn't a lie in an interview with media. This is what I was getting at when I said that we all tell little white lies and you came back with "If you lie, you are a liar". Now you seem to be amending that statement to "If you lie to the media, you are a liar". Ok, let's stick with this premise then going forward otherwise we ALL are liars.

So if his dad said his son told him that he met the girl, that doesn't make Te'o a liar because HE didn't say it to the media, his dad said it and he was only repeating what his son told him. That's what I was trying to get at.

The guy lied about his relationship with his "girlfriend", the same relationship that was a major media story. Absent her leukemia, no one would care and it would be mostly irrelevant... but Te'o was actively participating in feeding the cancer angle.  Two days after (according to him!) he found out about the hoax, he went in front of ESPN's cameras and said, "I think I'll never forget the time when I found out that, you know, my girlfriend passed away and the first person to run to my aid was my defensive coordinator, Coach Diaco, and you know he said something very profound to me."

This is on camera, to a national audience.   And you protest this guy being labeled a liar?

If that's true then that's pretty damning, I hadn't actually read that before. I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn't sure if he made the story up or not, only that I was leaning toward him being the victim. If it comes out that he was in on this, then I will have no problem with anyone calling him a liar. Even if he was lieing just because he was embarrased about the situation, I'll have no problem with you calling him a liar although I will still see him as more of a victim than a liar.

[Sunstroke]

you came back with "If you lie, you are a liar". Now you seem to be amending that statement to "If you lie to the media, you are a liar"

How about...If you lie, you're a liar, and if you lie to the media, then you're a highly publicized liar.

Ok, let's stick with this premise then going forward otherwise we ALL are liars. 

I think you should stick yourself in your own premise. Most people do tell little white lies, and most go undetected by the people they are being told to. Not "everyone" lies though... I certainly did when I was young, but I learned a long time ago that if you master the English language, you can pretty much say anything you want to say without fear of offending someone (if you don't want to offend) or without resorting to lying.

[Spider-Dan]

Ok, so then if he lied to his dad about meeting this girl, that wasn't a lie in an interview with media. This is what I was getting at when I said that we all tell little white lies and you came back with "If you lie, you are a liar".

First of all: he lied to the media about meeting her at Stanford (to the South Bend Tribune), which I mentioned in the same sentence as the lie about meeting her in Hawaii, so I don't understand the point you are trying to nitpick.  He only lied once about meeting her, not twice?

Second, if he tells his dad that he met her in Hawaii, and his dad goes around telling that to the media, and he does nothing to correct that, he's a party to that media lie.  His dad is repeating his words on his behalf.  Stop splitting hairs.

If that's true then that's pretty damning, I hadn't actually read that before.

Not sure if you read the article, but not only did he give an interview with ESPN's Chris Fowler talking about his fake dead girlfriend, but:

- Dec. 8: During an interview with ESPN Radio, he said that that he hoped his grandmother and his girlfriend were proud of him
- Dec. 8: During an interview with WSBT (South Bend local TV), he said, "I mean, I don't like cancer at all. I lost both my grandparents and my girlfriend to cancer. So I've really tried to go to children's hospitals and see, you know, children."
- Dec. 9: During an interview with the LA Times at the Lott Impact Awards, he said (about the fake dead girlfriend), "She made me promise, when it happened, that I would stay and play."

He's definitely a liar and looking more and more like a fraud.

[Phishfan]

ESPN is breaking a story right now from a source saying she spoke with the guy responsible (I'm too lazy to look up his name spelling right now, he's the one named in the articles) and he said Te'o was completely in the dark. Take it how you want, a guy coming clean or a guy covering for his friend.

[Pappy13]

I think you should stick yourself in your own premise. Most people do tell little white lies, and most go undetected by the people they are being told to. Not "everyone" lies though...

I don't buy it. Some lie more than others, but everyone lies. Studies have determined that men on average lie 6 times a day.

I certainly did when I was young, but I learned a long time ago that if you master the English language, you can pretty much say anything you want to say without fear of offending someone (if you don't want to offend) or without resorting to lying.

So it's not a lie if the person doesn't know you are lying? That's still a lie to me.

[Pappy13]

First of all: he lied to the media about meeting her at Stanford (to the South Bend Tribune)

Did he? I'm still not sure. ND officials said that Te'o was referring to online when he said that. Was that a lie or did the media get the story wrong? I don't know. If it was a lie and he just didn't want to admit that he never actually met her in person then it's more a lie of omission than anything else and I'm certainly not going to brand him a liar because of that. Now if he is making the whole thing up, then that's a full blown lie in that case and I have no problem you calling him a liar if that is in fact the truth, but I'm not convinced of that yet.

Second, if he tells his dad that he met her in Hawaii, and his dad goes around telling that to the media, and he does nothing to correct that, he's a party to that media lie.  His dad is repeating his words on his behalf.  Stop splitting hairs.

I don't think that's splitting hairs, I think that's being more cautious in branding him a liar. We don't know for sure whether or not Te'o EVER told his dad that he met her in Hawaii, all we know for sure is that his dad said that Te'o told him that. ND officials said that his dad was embellishing what Te'o told him. Dad's do that ya know. Perhaps his dad is the bigger liar in the family?

[Pappy13]

ESPN is breaking a story right now from a source saying she spoke with the guy responsible (I'm too lazy to look up his name spelling right now, he's the one named in the articles) and he said Te'o was completely in the dark. Take it how you want, a guy coming clean or a guy covering for his friend.

Here's a link to the story in case you want to read it.

This is starting to have all the earmarks of a typical sensationalized news story. First the media makes Te'o out to be much MORE than he should have ever been made out to be and then when they find out it's all a big hoax they make Te'o out to be a bigger villian then they should have. The media has made this whole thing into a circus because they never have taken the time to actually investigate it thoroughly. They just wanted to get the story out as quickly as possible. Bottom line is you can't always believe everything you read, error on the side of caution.

[Spider-Dan]

Did he? I'm still not sure. ND officials said that Te'o was referring to online when he said that.

He claimed that he shook her hand.  How does one do that online?

The entire idea that he met her "online" at a Stanford away game is ridiculous.  He met her "online" when he happened to be visiting the school she goes to?

Furthermore, I'd like to see this official statement from ND you are referencing.  The official statement from ND I've seen doesn't reference their supposed meetups at all; it is only in Te'o's press release (issued after the story broke) that he now claims he "met her online."

We don't know for sure whether or not Te'o EVER told his dad that he met her in Hawaii, all we know for sure is that his dad said that Te'o told him that.

We know that his dad told the media that Te'o said he met her, and Te'o never disputed that quote.

ND officials said that his dad was embellishing what Te'o told him.

Please cite.